It's time for a contest. Write a limerick with a Canadian flavor. We will judge the best one based on adherence to limerick style, word choices, rhyme, meter, and Canadian content.
What is a limerick? It's up to you to do the research and figure it out. What kind of Canadian content? That's also up to you.
Be creative. Humor helps. The limerick must be clean.
You have until midnight September 18. Post your limerick as a comment here along with a name so we can identify you. The winner will receive a book of your choice.
Have fun!
Bryan Davis and Amanda L. Davis report during their nationwide book tour. Tour begins September 14, 2011.
You may find you have a hint of hesitance
ReplyDeleteWhen there’s an “eh?” at the end of each sentence
You must be in a nation
Colder than all creation
All the same, Canada welcomes your presence
How many times can we enter? Thanks, Jessica
You may enter as many times as you wish.
ReplyDeleteThere lived an old man in Quebec
ReplyDeleteWho hung maple leaves from his neck;
They all blew away,
But he said only, "Eh?"
And became an emotional wreck.
Oh, and I'm Mark, by the way...
ReplyDeleteNice. Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteUp north in Canadian wild
ReplyDeleteLived a moose and her little child
They only ate maple,
‘Twas their diet’s staple
It was sweet, but still tasted mild
Coming back home, from a tour through Canada
ReplyDeleteWe stopped at a store, bought drinks for stamina
But the chum got loony
When we gave him a toonie
Can’t spend those in America, can ya?
My name is Caleb.
With prairies and mountains so tall
ReplyDeleteAnd with snow that continually falls
Such a frozen wasteland
Yet we find it so grand
And we call this place home for all
My name is Emily (Canadian resident)
There once was a man and his daughter
ReplyDeleteAnd to Canada they went together
But the border they crossed
And they knew not the frost
That will happily, freezingly smother
Emily
Books and swords, the Davis's wield
ReplyDeleteTraveling through Canada's Shield
I was so excited
When they'd been invited
To Canada...I think I squealed!
Caleb.
If you reach Michigan and keep going,
ReplyDeleteby driving, biking, or rowing
You will come to a place
With a wide open space
And folks that are so easygoing
Jonathan
Across the Canadian wild
ReplyDeleteWent two authors, a father and child
To bring joy to the counties,
Patrolled by the Mounties,
And leave the folks charmed and beguiled.
Jonathan
When we heard where this tour would be going,
ReplyDeleteA place where it's constantly snowing,
There was nothing to say,
Except 'Canada, eh?
Will you drive, or be taking a Boeing?'
Jonathan
Canadian words from A to ZED
ReplyDeleteGive me a SKULL CRAMP inside my head
Before this HOLIDAY
I thought they just said "EH?"
Turns out that now I'm KERFUFFLE-ED
(FYI: The capitalized words are things that Canadians generally say different than Americans. Just in case you were wondering.)
Studying the author’s graphology,
ReplyDeleteI saw problems with his psychology.
He wrote that he’d add a
Small trip to Canada
To discover draconic zoology.
Our government here is very similiar to yours
ReplyDeleteListening to their speeches continually bores
Truth is seldom heard
Believing is very absurd
Their facts are like our Canadian detours
Ron
Canadian winters can be really cold
ReplyDeleteIf you go far north you will be told
Polar bears are on top
Do not be a freeze pop
Cash is better than alpine gold
There was a hiker from B.C.
ReplyDeleteIn the true north strong and free
Who bought a Tim Hortons java,
Sipped it through his balaclava,
And declared it better than tea.
Oh, woops, forgot to mention my name...
ReplyDeleteI'm Tracey.
Winnipeg is the home of the mayor,
ReplyDeleteAnd he thought he would go to the fair.
He reached for his hat,
Slipped, and fell flat,
Then said: “I’ll just stay in my lair.”
Here's one from me, just for fun.
ReplyDeleteWith loonies and toonies I bought
The bottle of Pepsi I sought
The taste was much sweeter
With every drained liter
So now to the washroom I trot
There was a girl from Churchill
ReplyDeleteWho went sledding down a hill
She flew through the air
And landed on a polar bear
And couldn't pay the doctor's bill
I'm Josiah. Love the limerick, Mr. Davis!
Canadians drive a lot faster
ReplyDelete100 is normal for Pastors
We even weigh less
And gladly confess
We like our high-speeds and loud thunder
Emily
Erm... Mr Davis? That would be "litRE" not "litER". Just sayin'... *mumbles about Americans and their strange ways of spelling things*
ReplyDeleteThere lived an old man in Vancouver
ReplyDeleteWho sucked up his cat with his Hoover
When he got it out
The sight made him shout
The vacuum he dubbed "hair remover"
Come enjoy the Hudson Bay
ReplyDeleteWhere all the fish like to play
Bring your boat
And perhaps your coat
As you might fish all night and day
Josiah here.
Canadian bacon is a treat
ReplyDeleteFor all who really love meat
Mr. Davis had some
He ate every crumb
Which is a commendable feat
It's Josiah again.
Ciara, I typed "litre," knowing it was the strange way Canadians spell the word, but my spell checker complained about it, so I altered it to the correct spelling, because this limerick is about an American's experience in Canada. :-)
ReplyDeleteWinnipeg's the place to be
ReplyDeleteIf you want a life that's not carefree
It's the home of Pooh
And Starfield too
With crime rates higher than me
Josiah
Ah, that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteWe have strange spelling? You're the ones who spell colour without the u... :P
If you come to Canada, count the cost
ReplyDelete'Cause your closest acquaintance will be Jack Frost
It is thirty below
In the deep drifts of snow
Bring a shovel or you'll become lost!
-Tracey
A loonie, a toonie, what shall I say?
ReplyDeleteWatch out for the moose that's coming your way.
On adventures we'll roll
Through land the Mounties Patrol,
But I wonder- do they really say "Eh"?
-Sarah
Far Northward the Davis' went
ReplyDeleteTo a place with a leaf on its cent
To sign a few books
In lands warmed by Chinooks
I'd say twas time wonderfully spent
Jonathan
Was just thinkin'...I have a feeling Walter Foley could come up with some pretty hilarious limericks. :D
ReplyDeleteThere was an old man from Canada,
ReplyDeleteWho wished he could sial the Panama,
So on long day,
He just said "Eh,
I think I'll go to Sascatuwa!"
Keturah
*Sascatchuwan. Sorry, terrible with foriegn words. Good thing we're not being judged on spelling....or are we? ;)
DeleteKeturah
Amanda mounted a horse one day
ReplyDeleteAnd said, "I'm a Mountie now! Hip hip hooray!"
The owner was displeased
Cuz the horse wasn't leased
So he sent her on her jolly well way
-Josiah
When there's ice tot'lly cov'ring your tray
ReplyDeleteNo sunlight, not even one ray
But you're glad to be there
(Though I wish you'd come here)
It's good to be in Canada, eh?
-David
There lived an old man who was cranky
ReplyDeleteAnd shouted quite loud at each Yankee,
“I hate to be snide,
But we’ve the best side
Of Niagara Falls, and I’ll thank’ee!”
Mark
People in Steinbach say,
ReplyDelete"Oba yo! Oba nay!"
Your lips will droop
Because you're out of the loop
So you'll only yell, "Parlez-vous francais?!"
Josiah
To restore phonics, desecrated
ReplyDeleteThat frozen ice might on be skated
To add to the tender
More coins for the spender
That’s why Canada was created
But all in all it must be stated
Our differences are overrated
‘cause we get along
Our friendship is strong
After all, are we not related?
Like sheets of color hung in the sky
ReplyDeleteThe northern lights flicker on high
Aurora borealis
The banners of a palace
Of ice, where angels draw nigh
-Tracey
Sporting spiffen shoes and spiffen socks
ReplyDeleteThe Davis girls are first-class jocks
With books and belts among their skills
These warrior-maidens give me the chills
Especially because they're armed with Glocks!
-Tracey
(P.S. In case anyone didn't catch it, the books are Amanda's and the belts are Hannah's.)
There was a young boy from Ontario,
ReplyDeleteWho dreamed he was eating a marshmellow.
He awoke at dawn
And his pillow was gone!
So now off to the doc he must go.
In Canada colors are bright
ReplyDeleteWhere a fire burns on a chilly night
The fairies fly high
And no dragons sigh
In fall the leaves take flight
-Chloe
In Canada we have near all the climates
ReplyDeleteFrom Arctic and boreal forests
We’ve got desert in Drumheller
Prairies and mountain dwellers
And coastal with very damp inlets
Emily, (again)
The winner of the contest is Jonathan for this limerick:
ReplyDeleteAcross the Canadian wild
Went two authors, a father and child
To bring joy to the counties,
Patrolled by the Mounties,
And leave the folks charmed and beguiled.
Jonathan, email me to let me know which book you want - bryan (at) daviscrossing (dot) com.
Just sent it. Subject line is Limerick contest winner choice and address. Thanks again!
Delete