Saturday, September 15, 2012

Canada Tour Contest - Write a Limerick

It's time for a contest. Write a limerick with a Canadian flavor. We will judge the best one based on adherence to limerick style, word choices, rhyme, meter, and Canadian content.

What is a limerick? It's up to you to do the research and figure it out. What kind of Canadian content? That's also up to you.

Be creative. Humor helps. The limerick must be clean.

You have until midnight September 18. Post your limerick as a comment here along with a name so we can identify you. The winner will receive a book of your choice.

Have fun!


  1. You may find you have a hint of hesitance
    When there’s an “eh?” at the end of each sentence
    You must be in a nation
    Colder than all creation
    All the same, Canada welcomes your presence

    How many times can we enter? Thanks, Jessica

  2. You may enter as many times as you wish.

  3. There lived an old man in Quebec
    Who hung maple leaves from his neck;
    They all blew away,
    But he said only, "Eh?"
    And became an emotional wreck.

  4. Oh, and I'm Mark, by the way...

  5. Up north in Canadian wild
    Lived a moose and her little child
    They only ate maple,
    ‘Twas their diet’s staple
    It was sweet, but still tasted mild

  6. Coming back home, from a tour through Canada
    We stopped at a store, bought drinks for stamina
    But the chum got loony
    When we gave him a toonie
    Can’t spend those in America, can ya?

    My name is Caleb.

  7. With prairies and mountains so tall
    And with snow that continually falls
    Such a frozen wasteland
    Yet we find it so grand
    And we call this place home for all

    My name is Emily (Canadian resident)

  8. There once was a man and his daughter
    And to Canada they went together
    But the border they crossed
    And they knew not the frost
    That will happily, freezingly smother


  9. Books and swords, the Davis's wield
    Traveling through Canada's Shield
    I was so excited
    When they'd been invited
    To Canada...I think I squealed!


  10. If you reach Michigan and keep going,
    by driving, biking, or rowing
    You will come to a place
    With a wide open space
    And folks that are so easygoing


  11. Across the Canadian wild
    Went two authors, a father and child
    To bring joy to the counties,
    Patrolled by the Mounties,
    And leave the folks charmed and beguiled.


  12. When we heard where this tour would be going,
    A place where it's constantly snowing,
    There was nothing to say,
    Except 'Canada, eh?
    Will you drive, or be taking a Boeing?'


  13. Canadian words from A to ZED
    Give me a SKULL CRAMP inside my head
    Before this HOLIDAY
    I thought they just said "EH?"
    Turns out that now I'm KERFUFFLE-ED

    (FYI: The capitalized words are things that Canadians generally say different than Americans. Just in case you were wondering.)

  14. Studying the author’s graphology,
    I saw problems with his psychology.
    He wrote that he’d add a
    Small trip to Canada
    To discover draconic zoology.

  15. Our government here is very similiar to yours
    Listening to their speeches continually bores
    Truth is seldom heard
    Believing is very absurd
    Their facts are like our Canadian detours


  16. Canadian winters can be really cold
    If you go far north you will be told
    Polar bears are on top
    Do not be a freeze pop
    Cash is better than alpine gold

  17. There was a hiker from B.C.
    In the true north strong and free
    Who bought a Tim Hortons java,
    Sipped it through his balaclava,
    And declared it better than tea.

  18. Oh, woops, forgot to mention my name...
    I'm Tracey.

  19. Winnipeg is the home of the mayor,
    And he thought he would go to the fair.
    He reached for his hat,
    Slipped, and fell flat,
    Then said: “I’ll just stay in my lair.”

  20. Here's one from me, just for fun.

    With loonies and toonies I bought
    The bottle of Pepsi I sought
    The taste was much sweeter
    With every drained liter
    So now to the washroom I trot

  21. There was a girl from Churchill
    Who went sledding down a hill
    She flew through the air
    And landed on a polar bear
    And couldn't pay the doctor's bill

    I'm Josiah. Love the limerick, Mr. Davis!

  22. Canadians drive a lot faster
    100 is normal for Pastors
    We even weigh less
    And gladly confess
    We like our high-speeds and loud thunder

  23. Erm... Mr Davis? That would be "litRE" not "litER". Just sayin'... *mumbles about Americans and their strange ways of spelling things*

  24. There lived an old man in Vancouver
    Who sucked up his cat with his Hoover
    When he got it out
    The sight made him shout
    The vacuum he dubbed "hair remover"

  25. Come enjoy the Hudson Bay
    Where all the fish like to play
    Bring your boat
    And perhaps your coat
    As you might fish all night and day

    Josiah here.

  26. Canadian bacon is a treat
    For all who really love meat
    Mr. Davis had some
    He ate every crumb
    Which is a commendable feat

    It's Josiah again.

  27. Ciara, I typed "litre," knowing it was the strange way Canadians spell the word, but my spell checker complained about it, so I altered it to the correct spelling, because this limerick is about an American's experience in Canada. :-)

  28. Winnipeg's the place to be
    If you want a life that's not carefree
    It's the home of Pooh
    And Starfield too
    With crime rates higher than me


  29. Ah, that makes sense.

    We have strange spelling? You're the ones who spell colour without the u... :P

  30. If you come to Canada, count the cost
    'Cause your closest acquaintance will be Jack Frost
    It is thirty below
    In the deep drifts of snow
    Bring a shovel or you'll become lost!


  31. A loonie, a toonie, what shall I say?
    Watch out for the moose that's coming your way.
    On adventures we'll roll
    Through land the Mounties Patrol,
    But I wonder- do they really say "Eh"?

  32. Far Northward the Davis' went
    To a place with a leaf on its cent
    To sign a few books
    In lands warmed by Chinooks
    I'd say twas time wonderfully spent


  33. Was just thinkin'...I have a feeling Walter Foley could come up with some pretty hilarious limericks. :D

  34. There was an old man from Canada,
    Who wished he could sial the Panama,
    So on long day,
    He just said "Eh,
    I think I'll go to Sascatuwa!"


    1. *Sascatchuwan. Sorry, terrible with foriegn words. Good thing we're not being judged on spelling....or are we? ;)


  35. Amanda mounted a horse one day
    And said, "I'm a Mountie now! Hip hip hooray!"
    The owner was displeased
    Cuz the horse wasn't leased
    So he sent her on her jolly well way


  36. When there's ice tot'lly cov'ring your tray
    No sunlight, not even one ray
    But you're glad to be there
    (Though I wish you'd come here)
    It's good to be in Canada, eh?


  37. There lived an old man who was cranky
    And shouted quite loud at each Yankee,
    “I hate to be snide,
    But we’ve the best side
    Of Niagara Falls, and I’ll thank’ee!”


  38. People in Steinbach say,
    "Oba yo! Oba nay!"
    Your lips will droop
    Because you're out of the loop
    So you'll only yell, "Parlez-vous francais?!"


  39. To restore phonics, desecrated
    That frozen ice might on be skated
    To add to the tender
    More coins for the spender
    That’s why Canada was created

    But all in all it must be stated
    Our differences are overrated
    ‘cause we get along
    Our friendship is strong
    After all, are we not related?

  40. Like sheets of color hung in the sky
    The northern lights flicker on high
    Aurora borealis
    The banners of a palace
    Of ice, where angels draw nigh


  41. Sporting spiffen shoes and spiffen socks
    The Davis girls are first-class jocks
    With books and belts among their skills
    These warrior-maidens give me the chills
    Especially because they're armed with Glocks!

    (P.S. In case anyone didn't catch it, the books are Amanda's and the belts are Hannah's.)

  42. There was a young boy from Ontario,
    Who dreamed he was eating a marshmellow.
    He awoke at dawn
    And his pillow was gone!
    So now off to the doc he must go.

  43. In Canada colors are bright
    Where a fire burns on a chilly night
    The fairies fly high
    And no dragons sigh
    In fall the leaves take flight


  44. In Canada we have near all the climates
    From Arctic and boreal forests
    We’ve got desert in Drumheller
    Prairies and mountain dwellers
    And coastal with very damp inlets

    Emily, (again)

  45. The winner of the contest is Jonathan for this limerick:

    Across the Canadian wild
    Went two authors, a father and child
    To bring joy to the counties,
    Patrolled by the Mounties,
    And leave the folks charmed and beguiled.

    Jonathan, email me to let me know which book you want - bryan (at) daviscrossing (dot) com.

    1. Just sent it. Subject line is Limerick contest winner choice and address. Thanks again!